


Confessions Are Best Served Burnt

by ryanhasao3



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Edward Elric, Blood and Injury, Edward Elric Swears, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Roy Mustang, Injury, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Male Character, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 05:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14847081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanhasao3/pseuds/ryanhasao3
Summary: The building was up in flames, the fire licking the sky and scorching the clouds - along with Ed's hopes for another shouting match with the Colonel. It was too late. Everything was over now. Gone.





	Confessions Are Best Served Burnt

**Author's Note:**

> Another little fluffy one-shot. I'm preparing to write a full-length RoyEd fic but it's taking a lot out of me in between the exams I should definitely be revising for. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this!

Ed folded his automail arm against the wall and leant his face against it, gritting his teeth against the tears that threatened his reputation. He'd heard the explosion, felt the wave of warmth that settled over Central and eventually turned and seen the mushroom of fire. A flame-filled cloud raining destruction and pain over the building he knew the Colonel had been hiding out in. Ed squeezes his eyes shut and ignores the noticeable clunk of Al's foot against the floor behind him. Everything is going wrong and it's all his fault. He should've tried harder to keep the bastard in check, should've forced him to stay by his side.

"Brother, are you alright?" The worried voice echoes through his brother's armour. "Does your head hurt? You fell pretty hard earlier, I can find a doctor for you if you need one?"

His knees started to shake as another explosion rattled his bolts and ran cold through his blood.  _That's it_ , he thought to himself in bitter silence.  _He's gone. If that first explosion didn't take him, the second one definitely did._ He dropped his shivering automail and turned his head in the direction of the blast to see towers of black smoke beginning to spread out in a thin sheen over the city. The building was up in flames, the fire licking the sky and scorching the clouds - along with Ed's hopes for another shouting match with the Colonel.

His legs finally gave out and he heard the echo of steel hitting the concrete as he fell to his knees. "Brother!" Al followed suit and pressed his hands against Ed's shoulders, attempting to comfort. But it was too late. Everything was over now. Gone. The Colonel had been wiped from his life as fast as everyone else he'd ever cared about, his name added to the ever-growing list of people Ed had failed. His mother. Al. Nina and Alexander. Hughes. To some extent, he'd even failed Hohenheim. And now the Colonel was gone and he couldn't do a thing about it. Once a soul has left the living world, nothing can bring it back.

"Al, it's... it's all gone," he muttered, scared to raise his voice above a whisper. He could sense his brother's eyes scanning his face with concern, and tried to hold back his weakness. How was he supposed to go on now? How was Amestris supposed to pick itself up from the pieces now that the bastard is gone? He was supposed to take over from Bradley and now... He was supposed to do something with his life and now everything was over.

"Brother, everything is still here. We can try again. I'm not giving up. We're gonna get our old bodies back and save this country and--"

"LOOK AT THAT FIRE!" Ed screamed at him, the rush of tears beginning to stream down his face despite his better judgement. Edward Elric does not cry. And yet... "THAT BUILDING IS GONE, AL. AND THE COLONEL..." He trailed off, dropping his head and letting his hair fall over his face and sobs begin to burn his lungs, reminding him of the hellish flames scorching the city. "He's dead."

"You don't know that Brother," Al suggested, attempting to soothe Ed's internalised agony. "He could be on his way here, right now, ready to--"

"HE'S DEAD!" Ed shouted, lifting his salt-stained eyes to his brother's. "He's dead, Al. Nothing I can do or say will change that. Ever." He can feel the panic starting to race through him as he looks past his brother at the rising flames. "He's flown too close to the sun. Again. And this time, he's fallen back to the ground."

"Icarus, Brother? Since when do you compare the Colonel to god-like legends?" Al joked, clearly attempting classic Ed humour to calm him.

"Since he died. Since his own flames burnt him alive and left... everything. I failed him, just like I failed mom and Nina and even you. I should've been there with him, I should've--"

"What, Brother? What could you have done?"

Ed blinked and dropped his head again, watching his own tears splashing against the cool metal of his right arm. "I never told him..." he muttered to himself under his breath as he pushed his other hand through his sooty hair.  _I had so much left to tell him that I've been scared of. Endless analogies of childhood foolishness and adult responsibilities, all wrapped up in enigmas as confusing and captivating as his eyes. And now I can't._

"What, Brother?"

"I never told him how... How I really felt about him," Ed whispers, partially to himself and partially to share his burdens with his brother. "I never said how I spend my days counting the minutes till I can see him again. I never told him about the way I savour his insults and petty argument starters, even just because it makes the conversation last that little bit longer." Ed stared down at his hands and clenched his fists as he gritted his teeth again, feeling heat alike to the bastard's flames rising in his cheeks the same way the real thing was rising over the city. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut against the accusations of Al's shocked gaze. "I never got a chance to tell him I enjoyed every minute I ever spent with him."

"Brother--"

"I know, Al. Edward Elric doesn't have feelings. He gets ambitious over saving Amestris and angry over his height. He doesn't do emotions. But I hid it all. I knew the bastard didn't feel the same way, so I pretended I didn't either. What sort of future Fuhrer has time to deal with some stupid kid crushing on him?"

"But Brother--"

"Al, he was the only person I could be around without feeling like a failure. Even you, I felt guilty for not getting you your body back. But the Colonel... He made me feel, and I could finally enjoy life again. I never got to tell him that.

"Brother, you need to li--"

"Al, I think I'm in love with him. Or was, now. He's gone, after all. I'm in love with a dead man," Ed bit his lip as his eyes brimmed over despite being squeezed tight. He felt his voice crack as he continued. "I know I'm just some kid to him, but I love him and I never got to tell him that. I never had a chance to say any of it."

"Brother--"

"And now I never will," he finished, lifting his flesh hand to his face to wipe his tears as he felt a sob start to choke him, terrified of his brother's reaction to his confession.

"Fullmetal, you should really listen to your brother when he tells you to."

Ed freezes, the warm voice reverberating through him like the explosions had earlier. He dropped his hand, feeling but ignoring the thin glaze of tears as he unclenched his automail hand. He found himself holding his breath, his chest growing tight with relief and fear and a whole flurry of unrecognizable emotions.  _Of course, the bastard managed to fit in one last round of embarrassment._ "How long... How long have you been standing there?" he asked quietly, opening his dampened eyes but refusing to lift his head while he recognised the Colonel's scuffed and scorched boots.

"Longer than you would've liked. Or just long enough, depending on your perspective," the Colonel answered with a low voice, not moving from his place in the doorway. "And while that all needs addressing, I am in need of medical attention. Quite urgently. I seared the wound closed but I'm fairly certain there's a good amount of damage." Ed's heart stopped in fear. Had God delivered the bastard right to him, just so he could watch him die? He wiped his face on his tattered sleeve and took a deep breath before pushing himself to his still shaky feet and stealing a glance at the Colonel. His heart stopped again.

The man was stood, leaning against the doorway with his shirt town and bloody, an obvious wound covering his left side, almost identical to the injuries he'd received after fighting Lust. And, true to his word, red skin puckered around it with the odd black scorch mark. "Does it..." he started, voice cracking still and making him unable to finish, avoiding the bastard's eye as he took a step closer.

"Yes, I can taste sounds," he replied, visibly gritting his teeth. "I know where there's a doctor, but I don't think I can walk much further. Fullmetal, can you--"

"On it."

Ed clapped his hands together and slapped them on the floor, focusing his energy on creating a stone trolley on which he included working wheels. He presented it with pity in his eyes, finally looking the Colonel in his. "It won't be comfortable but it'll be a smoother ride than Al carrying you." The man ground his teeth as he moved awkwardly before nodding.

"Thank you, Fullmetal."

* * *

With a still-warm darkness rising over the city that night, Ed climbed into bed. He couldn't get the expression on the Colonel's face when he'd overheard him out of his head. It had been filled with some unspeakable emotion that Ed himself couldn't recognise, and he was covered in his own blood. Ed still felt sick at the thought of the bastard searing his own wound closed, but he knew he'd done it before. He just couldn't imagine the pain he'd been in - and was now, down at the hospital. It took everything in him to stay at the hotel rather than sprinting across the city to check on the idiot.

"Brother, about--"

"Leave it, Al," Ed cut in, glaring at him. He held his left hands up to the port on his automail, massaging the stiff joint.

"But, what you said about the Colonel, I just wanted to say... I'm not angry at you." Ed blinked and froze. "I know you, Brother. You think I'm angry at you for... for loving him. You think... well, I'm not angry. I understand and I know you might not think so, but I think he might--"

"I don't want to hear that, Al," Ed said quietly, dropping his head. "I'm his subordinate, and I'm 15 and he's... he's him. So I don't want to hear it. Can you drop it?"

Silence ran through the room for a few moments as Ed lay down in his bed, turning his back to his brother. He didn't want to hear his beliefs about the Colonel's feelings on the matter.  _I'm sure the bastard's got plenty to say about it himself._

"Okay, Brother."

* * *

"Fullmetal."

Ed looked up as he stood outside the now-burnt rubble of the building he'd seen up in flames last week. He turned to see the Colonel stood a few feet away, hand still gripping his ribs but likely over layers of bandages. He gritted his teeth at the same expression on the bastard's fae, that unspeakable emotion that scorched Ed's heart at a glance. He forced himself to look away and bent down to pick up a piece of debris. "You really did wonders on this, Colonel."

"Fullmetal, we need to talk about last week. About what you--"

"No!" Ed interrupted loudly, standing and throwing the debris as far as he could, not even smiling as he heard it clatter amongst broken glass on the other side of the building. On a normal day, he'd be proud of that throw. "No. I can't..." He gritted his teeth again and turned back to look at the slightly concerned face of the bastard. "You're not healed yet, idiot. What's wrong with you? What the fuck went through your head that told you setting fire to a building you were still inside would be a good plan?! No. I won't talk about... No. You need to heal first."

"Colonel!"

The both turned to see Hawkeye briskly stalking towards them. "Lieutenant Hawkeye," the bastard replied, his face stony and cold. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"You're supposed to still be in hospital, Sir. Your wounds haven't begun to heal yet, you could've torn stitches. We need to get you back now," she declared, looking worried as she noticed the bastard still tightly holding onto his side. 

"You what?!" Ed shouted in sudden fear, reacting to the possibility of injuries from the bastard's outing. "You stupid idiot, you could kill yourself. This is exactly what I meant, you're..." He felt another stab of fear as his eyes were drawn to the hand clasped against ribs. "You're bleeding. You stupid, useless, idiotic... bastard."

"That's not a nice way to speak to a superior officer, Fullmetal," the Colonel smiled thinly. "Lieutenant, who else did you bring?"

An ambulance pulled up at the curb and the bastard grinned wider. "I knew you'd do something like that. Should've done that in the first place, then I wouldn't have had to walk all the way here. Fullmetal--"

"Shut up and get in the ambulance, idiot," Ed interrupted, hesitating before offering him an arm to help and gritting his teeth as he took it, the warmth of his hand against his real arm as hot as the fires that had rushed through the city the previous week.

"Fullmetal." The Colonel pulled his arm and looked him in the eye, shocking Ed at the unexpected closeness. He could smell hospital disinfectant on the idiot's clothes from here. "Please come and visit me. So I don't have to take trips across the city to find you."

"But--"

"Please."

The look in his eyes stopped Ed in his tracks. The same fiery determination as ever coupled with something new. Something he couldn't quite put a finger on.

"Okay."

* * *

He stood outside the bastard's hospital room, a poorly wrapped gift in hand. He'd spent all night deciding what to do, and now he was stood feeling useless outside his room. He watched as the door swung open and a nurse in scrubs walked out. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you here to visit Colonel Mustang? He's sleeping at the moment, but you can sit and wait if you want."

"No, that's okay," Ed answered, forcing a smile. He held up the gift. "I just came to bring him this. I'll leave it for him."

"Do you want me to tell him you were here when he wakes up? Who do you want me to tell him it's from?"

"Tell him... tell him it's from the idiot who can't keep his mouth shut," he answered with a smile. "He'll understand." He passed over the package. "Don't forget to give it to him. I spent all night working on it."

"Of course."

* * *

Ed sat in the bastard's office, talking to Hawkeye for the first time in two weeks. He hadn't been to visit since last time but yet again he was feeling stabs of fear with the understanding that the Colonel was returning to work today. "He said thank you for the gift," Hawkeye explained, her face a piccture of amusement. No doubt the idiot had told her, they shared everything with each other. "And that you're not that much of an idiot. Just a small one."

"Where does he get off calling me small?!" Ed shouted in annoyance, huffing as the Lieutenant laughed.

"Edward, I know you probably don't want to hear this from me of all people, but I don't think you need to be worrying," she said with a smile, laughing again as a fire raged in Ed's cheeks. "Anyway, I brought this from the Colonel. I know he's back today, but he asked me to give this to you weeks ago. I just haven't seen you since."

Ed took a pocketwatch from Hawkeye, frowning at it. It was just a normal pocketwatch, scorched slightly, but definitely different to the State Alchemist watches. He opened it and a slip of paper fell out, fluttering silently to the floor. He reached down to pick it up and unfolded it, seeing unnecessarily perfect handwriting. He squinted to read it.  _ **To count the minutes with.**_

_"I never said how I spend my days counting the minutes till I can see him again."_

He felt his face grow even more red as he thought back to the confession the bastard had overheard. "He also told me to tell you the watch is his own, it got burnt a little but he hopes you don't mind a touch of fire."

"I--"

"Really, Lieutenant, it's taken you this long to deliver my gift? I might as well have done it myself." Ed stood up, turning his heated face to the door, where the Colonel was stood in his blue uniform, looking as healthy as he always had. "As for you, Fullmetal, I thought I asked you to visit me?"

"I did. You were sleeping."

The bastard chuckles and walked into the room, nodding  at the rest of his crew as he stalked towards his desk, only the whisper of a limp haunting him. He lowered himself into his chair and coughed once before pausing and taking a deep breath. "I relieve all of you for your lunch break immediately." They all froze, glanced at Ed and nodded, muttering thanks as they left without mentioning the fact that it was only ten in the morning. "That includes you, Lieutenant. I need to speak with Fullmetal."

"You could've just gone to a different room, Sir. I don't think you need this whole office for a conversation."

"I like my office."

She stared at him for a prolonged silence before sighing and nodding as she turned to leave the room, pausing only to briefly rest a reassuring hand on Ed's shoudler. She smiled at him and he felt pangs of dread filling him with uncertainty. Soon the room was empty and all he could hear was the quiet hum of machines still on, alongside the squeak of the Colonel's chair as he heaved himself out of it and moved to sit beside Ed. The young alchemist in question gritted his teeth, looking down to fold the scrap of paper back inside the pocketwatch and rub his thumb over the scorch marks for comfort. He felt the scratch of damaged metal over his skin as he did so, and savoured it in the moments of silence before he was bitterly rejected by a man he couldn't avoid if he tried.

"Fullmetal, I'd like to ask you to let me speak before you interrupt me. I've thought about you a lot over the past few weeks, and I'd quite like to finish the speech I practiced before you cut me off," he said, his voice shouting hints of a smile without Ed needing to look up.

"You practiced a speech?" Ed asked quietly trying to ignore the flurry of emotions that cam with the declaration that the bastard had been thinking about him.

"Shut up so I can get through this." Ed managed a smirk as he dropped his face, running his thumb over the pocketwatch again. "I'm not in love with you," he started, and Ed's caught in his throat as he held himself together. He would not cry. Not this time.

"I don't love you. But I quite easily could," the Colonel continued, and Ed bit the inside of his lip. "I could easily fall in love with someone like you, and I feel like I've started to. You're not exactly a child, as Lieutenant Hawkeye so kindly keeps reminding me. 'The age of consent in Amestris is fifteen, Sir'" he imitated in the most un-Hawkeye-like voice Ed had ever heard, drawing a nervous smile from him. "My main worry is that I've manipulated you somehow. I am a superior officer, after all. But I can see how I could fall in love with you. You're an incredible person, Fullmetal. Youngest State Alchemist ever, and you threatened the Fuhrer in your exam. You transmitted your brother's soul... You're so talented and I couldn't imagine the pain of the struggles you've gone through to get that good. But I want to. I want you to open up to me and let me get to know the real you. The you that no-one else gets to see. I want to understand the quirks of you and I want to... I want to fall in love with you." Ed's mouth dropped open as he looked up at the Colonel, seeing unfamiliar fear in the bastard's eyes.

"I was expecting--"

"I'm not finished. You said you enjoy every minute you spend with me. I want to make those minutes last longer, and I want to give more of them to you. Not to a group. To you. You said I wouldn't have time as the future Fuhrer to deal with some kid crushing on me. But I can see this isn't a crush, Fullmetal. You really care and I do too. You're not some kid crushing on me. You're..." he broke into a thin smile. "You're an idiot who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut." Ed was certain at this rate that his face was genuinely on fire and had never been any other way. "My point is, you're not just some kid to me. I care about you and I want to fall in love with you and learn everything I can about you. I enjoy life around you and I want my life to be you. Can you let me do that? Can you let me get to know you and... and fall in love with you?"

"I don't know, I think I've changed my mind," Ed said after a pause, feeling the need to relieve the tension and smirking at the Colonel's expression. "I'm joking, idiot. What I said three weeks ago--"

"You really are counting minutes."

"Shut up!" Ed answered with a smile, pushing away his nerves. "What I said was a confession. It was a stream of pain and hurt when I thought you were dead. I was sure you were dead. But you're not, and now I want to say it again. Without, you know... crying."

"Go on, then," the bastard smirked, clearly feeling reprieve from his own fear.

"Colonel, I--"

"Roy. If you're going to tell me you're smitten, you might as well use my name."

"Smitten?" The bastard shrugged with a smile and gestured for Ed to continue. He sighed and clenched his jaw for a second. "Roy. I..." He takes a breath and closes his eyes. He can't bring himself to look at the idiot's face as he says it, knowing of the fire on his own. "I love you. And I don't want to be counting minutes because I want you right here next to me all the time, and I--"

He stopped at the feel of a warm hand resting against his face, opening his eyes in shock. Upon doing so, he feels the Colonel weave his fingers in Ed's shirt and pull him close, freezing just over an inch from his face. "Sorry," he mutters, and Ed feels the warm rush of his breath on his lips. "I just... I really want to kiss you."

"Why don't you?" Ed mutters back, feeling brave.

"Because I'm a superior officer and I don't want to be accused of--"

Ed closes the gap and his eyes as he pressed his lips gently against the Colonel's and smiled against him before pulling away, finally feeling the disintegration of his nervousness. "There. I made the first move. Now you can kiss me properly."

The bastard grinned and reached to pull Ed back against him. "Gladly."


End file.
